Wedding Guest Etiquette

July 6, 2009

Strange but necessary topic…so many persons over the last 10 years have asked me about wedding guest etiquette that I feel that it is time to address some of the issues.  Do guests really have to kow-tow to protocols and if they are close enough to be invited, can’t they just behave the same way they would if they were going by to hang out?

No! No! and No!

A wedding is a more formal occasion than a hang out and should be viewed as a couple’s first hosted function.  They have gone through the process of planning a celebration and have also kept you the guest in mind and catered to your comfort.  The least you can do is follow certain reasonable protocols even if said wedding is a summer backyard bbq.

Here are a few of the most obvious dont’s:

Don’t be late - this is the first and most important rule.  It is rude and it takes the focus off the couple and the ceremony. Try to get there at least 15 minutes early and give yourself time to be seated and settled. Avoid taking photographs during the ceremony. The professionals have it covered and you should respect the sanctity of the house of worship and the ritual of the marriage rites being administered.

Don’t bring a gift with you to the wedding - drop it off before or after the wedding or have it delivered from the registry.  If you take it with you, it means that someone in the wedding party will have to worry about getting it home.

Don’t wait until last minute to reply even if you are unable to attend - the couple needs the information for accurate guest head count. It is also customary to still send a wedding gift.

Don’t bring a date or your children unless invited to do so - be gracious and read your invitation carefully and do as requested.  Remember that the reception is paid for per person so unexpected guests can affect the budget in a big way.  If your family is invited, please remember to keep a close eye on little ones: even in a family friendly atmosphere, horseplay or kids throwing a tantrum can be very distracting!

Don’t drink too much.  Even though a wedding is a time for celebration no one appreciates a drunken guest making off colour remarks.